The Catholic Origins of Manliness

by Michael P. Foley

In his fascinating book Manliness, Harvey Mansfield identifies Achilles as a paragon of virility. He is right to do so, for the rash and rebellious, boasting and body-dragging Homeric hero is not only an unforgettable Western archetype but the quintessential he-man, the larger-than-life warrior that is sung in virtually all cultures and climes. We Christians should not forget Achilles, for he inversely reminds us of a paradox that comes to light only when we compare such a man to the central figure of the New Testament: sometimes, the one thing greater than the he-man’s heroism is the decision to reject it. Our Lord could have easily humiliated His foes the way Achilles did Hector, but He chose instead to be humiliated by them, a move that took real courage. When Christians call Christ the New Man (or Adam), they mean it in more ways than one. Christ’s manliness transformed man’s understanding of manhood, and it is this transformation that, through the development and mediation of the Catholic Church, became a new Western ideal. This is obvious when we consider two areas typically associated with manly life: chivalry and sports.

Chivalry

Chivalry began as an attempt by the Church to curb the anarchy and bloodshed of feudal conflict in the Middle Ages, but it ended as something much more. The so-called Truce of God limited violence by prohibiting, on pain of excommunication, armed engagement every Thursday through Sunday and during the holy seasons of Advent and Lent. This pious restraint was sharpened by the Crusades, which upheld a new code of knighthood aimed not at personal glory (Achilles again) but the protection of the weak and oppressed. When a knight was consecrated or “dubbed,” the bishop prayed that he would become a defender of “churches, widows, orphans, and all those serving God.” This was obviously the instantiation of an important biblical virtue (Judas Maccabeus, the Old Testament prototype of the medieval knight, is described in II Maccabees 2:38 as providing for the widow and orphan), as was the care extended to another group: women. Though the chivalrous regard for the welfare of women would later become subject to all sorts of romantic distortions (hence the parodies of love-stricken knights in Chaucer and Cervantes), even here there lies the kernel of a uniquely Christian insight. When St. Paul tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church (Eph. 5:25), he is essentially telling them to put the welfare of their spouses high above their own, even to the point of death. Today the concept of “ladies first” is more often than not condemned as quaint or chauvinist, but when it is properly understood and practiced it reflects this Christ-like conversion of male power and aggression to the selfless service of others. It presupposes that if a Christian man is designed to rule, he is to exercise that rule paradoxically by serving, just as Christ exercised his lordship paradoxically by humbly washing the feet of his apostles (John 13:4–16). This insight is well-reflected in the famous medieval legend of the Holy Grail as told by Chrétien de Troyes. When Perceval the knight is about to part from his mother, her last words to him are: “Should you encounter, near or far, a lady in need of aid, or a maiden in distress, make yourself ready to assist them if they ask for your help, for it is the most honourable thing to do. He who fails to honour ladies finds his own honour dead inside him.” Over time, several customs developed from this transfiguration of male honor. Simple gestures such as opening doors or pulling out a chair for a lady bespeak a gentleman’s humble respect for women and a recognition of his responsibilities. Particularly noteworthy in this regard is the practice of tipping one’s hat to a lady. Given that a man’s hat is a traditional symbol of his rank and authority, the gesture is essentially a ritual acknowledgment of the fact that his position is in some crucial respects ordered to the service and regard of women.

Sports

It is generally not the function of a religion to create new forms of competition, yet the Judeo-Christian proclamation of the sanctity of human life led to far-reaching changes in the way that Westerners played games. After the Roman Empire embraced Christianity, a successful war was waged against the old athletic festivals and gladiator games, all of which were inherently tied to death cults, animal sacrifice, and even human sacrifice. But the Church never opposed athletic competition per se, and so the field was cleared for new and more wholesome forms of sport to emerge. Of course, this is not to say that the games were more effete. The proto-Christian Duke in “The Knight’s Tale” by Chaucer turns a battle into a tournament in order to prevent the loss of life, but this does not stop bones from being “bashed” and “bursts of blood in streams of sternest red” (l. 1752). In some countries, Catholic life played a discernible role in shaping specific athletic tastes. My favorite example is Switzerland’s popular schützenfeste. These shooting competitions began as training exercises for marksmen who were to protect the procession of the Blessed Sacrament on the Feast of Corpus Christi from violent Protestants! In the same feisty vein is the humble sport of bowling, believed by some to have begun as a religious ceremony held in the cloister of a church. As far back as the third or fourth century, peasants may have placed their clubs (which, like the Irish shillelagh, they carried with them at all times) at the end of a lane. The club was called a kegel in German and was said to represent the heathen, to be toppled, we conjecture, by the rolling stone of the Gospels. Over time the clubs developed into pins, but the association lingered: to this day, a bowler is sometimes referred to as a kegler. Finally, mention should be made of the motto of the modern Olympic games. Citius, Altius, Fortius (“Faster, Higher, Stronger”) was coined by Dominican friar Henri Didon, prior of Albert-le-Grand College in Arceuil, France. A well-known educator with a penchant for sports (he himself had won many a prize in his youth), Didon encouraged athletic competition at his school as a way of building character. It was at a sports meeting in 1891 that he ended a speech to his pupils with the stirring admonition: Citius, fortius, altius. The motto was eventually adopted by the father of the modern Olympics, Pierre de Coubertin, with one exception. While Fr. Didon had placed the word fortius, or “stronger,” in the middle of the phrase to stress the moral significance of athletics, Coubertin ominously changed the word order to stress the “freedom of excess,” which he praised over and against “the unnatural utopia of moderation.”

Conclusion

Coubertin’s misappropriation of Fr. Didon’s motto is also fairly emblematic of the plight of Christian manhood in the modern age, which is one of the reasons why we even need to speak of the Catholic contribution to manliness as if it were something forgotten. Nevertheless, the testimony of Our Lord shall not be effaced. Jesus Christ the New Man gave us a counterintuitive yet ultimately greater model of manhood, one that has the chutzpah to beat down one’s own vainglory for the greater glory of God and for the sake of defending His most helpless creatures. The result is a blend of solicitude, gentleness, and toughness that makes Achilles’ egotistical bravado look puerile. And for that we can be profoundly grateful.Michael P. Foley is an Assistant Professor of Patristics at Baylor University. He is the author of Why Do Catholics Eat Fish on Friday? The Catholic Origin to Just About Everything (NY: Palgrave Macmillan, 2005).

Pro-Family Groups Lobby Marriott for Porn-Free Rooms

(CNSNews.com) - Officials with Marriott International have agreed to meet with pro-family leaders to discuss the hotel giant's policy of selling in-room pornographic movies to consumers at some of its properties. Full Story

The War Against Pornography

What is the great plague of the 21st century? Bird flu? Terrorism? Global warming? No, none of these. The pandemic of our century is pornography. This scourge was already severe in the twentieth century with the development of color photography, moving pictures, and cable television. But with the advent of the Internet age, pornography is freely and effortlessly available in nearly every home.

Fighting to Keep it Out
In the previous generation, kids and even adults generally had to expend considerable time, effort, expense and subterfuge to find pornography and smuggle it into the home. Now, computers attached to the Internet take care of that automatically. In any given household, concerned individuals have a major battle on their hands just to keep pornography out. All of that time, effort, expense and subterfuge must now be employed on the side of purity.

Even last year's advice for controlling computer access is now outdated and ineffective. Today, all you need is a personal digital assistant (PDA) or a cell phone to connect to a network where the number one commodity is porn. Wireless access is rapidly growing universal and devices that can be used to access pornography are now so much a part of both our domestic and our commercial lives that they are difficult to do without.

Moreover, our concentration on the Internet's hard-core pornography should not blind us to the general lowering of the bar. Mainstream entertainment venues routinely incorporate soft porn without so much as a wink of the eye. Even the fashions of dress among everyday people continue to degenerate in this universal trend. Something as simple as walking through a shopping mall is impossible without being exposed in one way or another to the problem of porn.
It is no wonder that increasing numbers of marriages are being destroyed by pornography and increasing numbers of young people, mostly boys, are developing true pornography addictions, addictions which require not only personal commitment but professional therapy to overcome. Parents, if they are willing to make significant sacrifices, can still do much to protect their children, but our culture has reached the point where anything approaching complete shielding from pornography is now impossible.

A New Strategy
Let me repeat that last statement: Anything approaching complete shielding from pornography is now impossible. I do not mean to imply that we should give up the effort to protect our children, our spouses and our friends. Nor should we abandon political, social and legal efforts to control pornography. But these efforts are complicated enormously by the internationalism of the Internet. Even if a community could be found that shares sound values, effective protection is likely to be impossible for a long time to come.

This is why we need to take the battle against pornography to the spiritual level. Insofar as we have concentrated in the past on mere physical protections (i.e., shielding), we need to recognize once and for all that physical protection is only one front of the war, and probably not the most important front. An effective battle certainly includes as much shielding as is reasonably possible, but true spiritual combat also includes four other vital components:

Disapproval. Silence in the face of pornography is deadly. It needs to be clear to children that their parents do not approve of immodesty or impurity in any form, that they oppose the pornographic exploitation of others, and that they are willing to correct deficiencies in this area. These attitudes need to be reflected in speech, dress and behavior at every level. This advice is not limited to parents. The same applies to spouses in relationship to each other, and for those living in community. At-risk behavior patterns should be noticed. Appropriate corrective action must be taken.

Vision. Everyone needs to understand why pornography is seriously wrong in the context of the Christian vision. Each person is a unity of body and soul destined for true human friendship and eternal life with God. We must explain clearly how pornography divides persons against themselves, alienates them from others, and cheapens relationships; how it substitutes fantasy for reality and leads to physical and commercial exploitation of others; how it destroys love and true intimacy; and how it impedes maturity, personal integration, and spiritual development.
Formation. Children need good practical advice on caring for their bodies, minds, souls and friendships in a way which limits occasions for sin, encourages healthy activities, and fosters positive relationships. Both children and adults should stay in touch with pastors and friends (and, if necessary, counselors and therapists) who genuinely care about their personal development and spiritual growth. Everyone needs to work at an ever-deepening spiritual life centered around the public worship of the Church and the sacrament of the Eucharist. Sound spirituality includes avoidance of despair through a profound trust in God’s mercy and a willingness to turn back to God after a fall, especially in the sacrament of Penance.

Prayer. With specific reference to spiritual growth and purity of heart, parents must pray throughout their lives for their children. Wives must pray for their husbands just as fervently, and husbands for their wives. Friends must also pray for each other. Moreover, lay people must pray for their priests, who have made the sacrifice of celibacy for a life of service. Priests must likewise pray for their brothers in sacred ministry. And those in community life must certainly pray for the other members of their community. In addition, we must all pray for our own purity, our own single-hearted commitment to the will of God. These prayers must not be merely occasional. They must be a key portion of our daily habit of prayer.

Winning the War
In our culture, each person will have to fight his own war with pornography. Each person, or at least each male, will also very likely experience a certain measure of failure in this war. Complete shielding is not possible and, quite frankly, some battles are going to be lost. But the entire nature of the war can be transformed from a campaign of shielding and isolation to one of spiritual growth and self-mastery. Once prosecuted in this way, the war against pornography can be won.

The war may be long and hard, but every moment of genuine struggle is a dart of burning love sent from the soul to God. Our Lord counts the occasional fall as nothing compared with the love we offer when we struggle in this way. In response to His grace, our efforts will forge bonds of unity so strong that, in the end, Christ Himself will become our champion. It is Christ who will fight for us. It is Christ who will fight in us. Thus may we all go joyfully to war, where none may doubt the victory.

One of the best places to start your personal war on pornography is to read the remarkable pastoral letter by the Bishop of Arlington, Paul S. Loverde, issued on the eve of the Immaculate Conception, December 7, 2006: Bought with a Price: Pornography and the Living Temple of God.

Interview

What is Pornography Doing to Fathers and Their Families?

Steve Wood

The venom of Internet Pornography is slowly killing the spiritual life of millions of Christian fathers. At every Catholic men's conference I have spoken at over the past four years, I have encountered men addicted to Internet pornography. Men from every region of North America, who attend Mass every Sunday, are silently addicted to pornography. Scores of wives have contacted the Family Life Center alarmed about their husband's addiction to pornography. These wives are fearful about pornography's corrosive effects upon their husbands, their marriages, and their children.

A March 2000 national survey conducted by Zogby and Focus on the Family found that one in four American men seek sexual fulfillment online.1 Nearly one in five Christians gave the same response. Yes, Internet pornography has spread to men in the Church, yet many men have told me they have never heard a single word about pornography in their parish, or in their diocese.

Pornography is spreading to kids. Almost a third (31%) of children age 10-17 from households with computers say they have seen a pornographic website.2 The Attorney General Commissions on Pornography found that 12- to 17-year-old boys are among the highest consumer group of pornography - the sons are following in their father's footsteps. Millions of Christian men in their 30's and 40's started a secret pornography addiction after they found their dad's Playboy and other porno magazines hidden under a mattress when they were 9, 10, and 11-year old boys. Technologically savvy kids today can easily find computer records of their dad's visits to porno websites.

Addiction to Internet pornography is not going to disappear on its own. Internet pornography, already a billion dollar a year business, is growing at an increasing rate. During January 2000, there was a 40 percent increase in porn sites visited compared with just four months earlier. Broadband will bring the Internet to television. One porn provider predicted that broadband technology will "give the viewer the opportunity to cull through 100,000 adult videos."

Internet pornography is a crisis among men in the Church. I urge the leadership of every Catholic men's group to educate themselves about the problem of Internet pornography and how to assist men in both preventing and overcoming a pornography addiction. Finally, two action steps are needed. First, thousands of special accountability groups need to be established to help Catholic men overcome pornography addiction. Second, a like number of support groups for the wives of men struggling with pornography need to be organized.

In the words of Dr. Jerry Kirk, pornography is "anti-children, anti-women, anti-marriage, anti-family, anti-church and anti-God." I add that pornography is profoundly anti-fatherhood. Nothing less than the future of Christian fatherhood is at stake in this battle for purity. It is time for Catholics to take action. It is our hope and prayer that this special edition of the St. Joseph's Covenant Keepers Newsletter will play a part in helping you and others heal the plague of Internet pornography.

St. Joseph, pray for us to be pure fathers.

Blessed Are The Pure In Heart

By Bishop Robert W. Finn

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. (Matthew 5:8) A way of discipleship
In the Beatitudes Christ offers us a perfect model for true Christian living. Even more than the Ten Commandments themselves, they are a charter for the high moral calling Christ sets for His disciples.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. This one line from the Beatitudes offers a most sublime beginning point to our reflection. It tells us about God, ourselves and our ultimate goal. A pure heart is “blessed” or “happy.” Seeing God and being with Him forever in heaven is God’s plan for our eternal well-being. The Old Testament teaches that this purity is required if we are to approach God. “Who shall ascend the mountain of the Lord? And who shall stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false” (Psalm 24, 3-4).

To be pure in heart implies that our love is wholly directed toward the good of the other person. We are “single-hearted,” and not divided in our love. Israel ’s first and most important commandment is to love God with our whole heart, soul, mind and strength (Deut 6: 4-5). Jesus added definitively that we must also love our neighbor as our self (Mk 12: 29 -31). This pure love – as demanding as it may be – is the high destiny to which we are called as children of the Father. Is it possible to fulfill such a love? Yes. It is possible because God has first loved us (1 Jn 4:10 ). As disciples of Jesus Christ, we are called to the happiness that comes from a clean and undivided heart.

Pornography: Epidemic Attacking Human Dignity
Daily there are challenges to this pure Christian love. For some months, representatives of our Catholic Diocese have been working with leaders of other faith traditions to address the serious dangers represented by the steady increase of pornography in our culture. Pornography is not new, but it has become a kind of plague in our society, reaching epidemic proportions. It is being propagated more widely than ever. Well beyond magazines, it is widespread on the internet, television, movies and videos, and now on cell phones and other handheld devices, many of which are marketed to children and youth. Pornography has become the secret entertainment of many people of all ages, walks of life, and economic backgrounds. Use of internet pornography is perhaps the fastest growing addiction in the world.

Pornography perverts the beauty of intimate love proper to marriage, presenting images of the body and sexual acts for base pleasure – regarding other persons as objects to be used, manipulated, and sold. It is a multi-billion dollar industry, eclipsing the amount of money generated by professional sports (cf. Chapter II, below). In this way pornography distorts the proper meaning and purpose of our sexuality and does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, consumers).

Use of pornography is a serious sin against chastity and the dignity of the human person. It robs us of sanctifying grace, separates us from the vision of God and from the goodness of others, and leaves us spiritually empty. Attraction to pornography and its gratifications is a false “love” that leads to increasing emotional isolation loneliness and subsequent sexual acting-out with self and others. It depends on the exploitation of other persons: frequently the desperate or poor, or the innocent young. Use of pornography has cost persons their jobs, their marriages and families. Traffickers in Child Pornography may end up in prison. It has often been associated with and has contributed to, acts of sexual violence and abuse.

In this pastoral letter, I wish to appeal to you all as members of the Body of Christ redeemed by His love, to reflect on the dangers of pornography in our society. We will see how pornography is a serious affront to our human dignity. I will share some strategies in response to this problem. I ask you to join with me in the Diocesan effort to combat this plague by recommitting ourselves and our families to purity and chastity. In this way we will live more completely as Christ’s disciples, growing each day in the freedom of the children of God. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

CHAPTER I ~ THE DIGNITY OF THE HUMAN PERSON
Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. (Genesis 1:26 ): The respect due the human person is rooted in God.

As human beings we are created in the image and likeness of God. The dignity and respect due to every human person is not assigned by any group of people, nor granted by a government. Our dignity is not contingent on what we own, or even on what we do. We cannot buy it or sell it. This dignity and worth comes from God as a complete and inestimable gift.

How are we like God? We have an immortal soul, and we are meant to live forever with God in heaven. We are called to be holy as God is holy, and through Jesus Christ and His Church we may receive the means to attain holiness. Like God, we have a rational nature, the ability to reason. However, it is not just in reason that we find the divine image within us. We are like God because we are able to love. We can make a gift of our self to another person.

For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore glorify God in your body. (1 Cor 6: 20 ) New Life in Christ.

Even when through sin, man had fallen and seriously injured this gift of our dignity; God continued to love us and sent us a Redeemer. We were purchased – and at a great price!
Human life was embraced and elevated in the Incarnation. In the coming of Christ, “in the flesh,” God united Himself in some way with every human person.

In the Easter or Paschal Mystery, Jesus’ passage through death into Resurrection and new life, He won a definitive victory on our behalf and established for us the hope of eternal life on high. Through Baptism we share in God’s life by means of a divine adoption. In this first sacrament, our purification is accomplished in the efficacious sign of flowing and life-giving water. God has reestablished our eternal value. Each of us is challenged: “Child of God, become fully who you are!”

Are we worth dying for? Are we worth being crucified for? God’s answer is yes. Our question to ourselves must be, “Is God worth living for?”

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ (Mark 10:6): The dignity of human sexuality

This dignity of the human person includes our sexuality. Our sexuality is more than our gender. It is part of our person. It gives us the ability to connect and give ourselves in love to another person. Our human sexuality is an important means by which we can share in the love and creativity of God. In marriage, a man and a woman are invited to establish a complete, exclusive and life-long union of two individuals as one. This union is the proper relationship by which it is possible for them to become co-creators with God and to let their love for one another become fruitful in bringing another human life into the world.

In the misuse of our sexuality human weakness and selfishness can manifest themselves, sometimes in terrible ways. Human sexuality is a gift but not a toy. It is a gift to be respected and directed toward its proper end: loving and personal communion with others.
My offenses truly I know them; my sin is always before me. (Psalm 51:5): The reality of sin.
This vision of who we are in God is a beautiful one. But we know that it is marked by the bitter, painful reality of sin. The ability to choose to love means that we can choose, likewise, to hurt or ignore one another. Sin is real and it is destructive.

The original unity of Adam and Eve was fractured by Original Sin. As important and fundamental as our human sexuality is, it also provides the means whereby our fallen human nature expresses itself in deep and sometimes horrific ways. Adultery, fornication, prostitution, rape, sexual abuse and exploitation, much of modern day slavery, crimes of passion and pornography all illustrate this fallen aspect of our human nature. The dignity of the human person has been wounded and scarred by sin. When we sin we become less the person we are called to be in Christ. Sin dehumanizes us. The fact that Jesus was sinless does not make him less human but more human. Sin makes us less human. The grace of Christ restores us.
Having understood the dignity of the human person, we can better examine what compromises this dignity. Jesus said, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31 ).

Everyone should look upon his neighbor as another self, bearing in mind above all his life and the means necessary for living it in a dignified way lest he follow the example of the rich man who ignored Lazarus, the poor man. Today there is an inescapable duty to make ourselves the neighbor of every man, no matter who he is.

Simply put, sin separates us from one another and from God. Sin impairs the relationship between the creatures, and between the human person and God. Ultimately sin is to be understood in terms of freedom and love. Sin is an abuse of freedom and a failure to love.
Only in the knowledge of God’s plan for man can we grasp that sin is an abuse of the freedom that God gives to created persons so that they are capable of loving him and loving one another.

Every athlete exercises discipline in every way … to win an imperishable crown (I Cor 9:25 ) The Life of Virtue.

Sin separates us from God while virtue seeks to unite us to God. When we have discovered God’s love for us and the high destiny which is ours, we strive again and again to attain all that God has in store for us. For this purpose the virtues are a vitally important part of the Christian life. By a virtue we mean “. . . a habitual and firm disposition to do the good.” As we grow in virtue, we seek to become more like God, more holy. Sin can produce a kind of atrophy that weakens and can even paralyze our moral muscle. Virtue is a conditioning of our moral muscle that strengthens us and helps us to maximize our potential. In the moral life there is an entire constellation of virtues regarding different situations in life. There is a virtue that calls us to respect and care for our human sexuality. We call it chastity.

Create a clean heart in me O God. (Psalm 51:12): The virtue of chastity.

For some, chastity can have an almost negative connotation. As part of the cardinal virtue of temperance, chastity calls on us to moderate our sense pleasures, keeping the use of our sexuality within the limits of what is appropriate, using this life-giving power for only a worthy goal.

But chastity is a virtue in its own right; it is a strength. It is not just the absence of something bad. It is the presence of something good. That something is respect. The virtue of chastity repeats acts of respect for others and for ourselves.

Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality, in which man’s belonging to the bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and woman. The virtue of chastity therefore involves the integrity of the person and the integrality of the gift.

Those who treat others as objects might experience some passing pleasure but they are not going to be happy. Chastity exists not to prevent happiness but to allow happiness to mature and blossom. Chastity helps us to see people as they really are. It helps to ground us in truth.
Chastity does not stand in the way of love but rather exists to protect it. Chastity expresses love.

Before he became Pope John Paul II, Karol Wojtyla wrote a book entitled, Love and Responsibility. This writing emerged through his pastoral work with university students, which included marriage preparation. While some would say that the opposite of love is hate, he taught that the opposite of love is use. The idea is that if you do not love someone, you will end up using that person. This is known as the Personalistic Norm. Negatively stated, it means that one may never use another person as an object for one’s own pleasure. Positively stated, it holds that the only proper response to a person is love.

Love and Responsibility insists that the structure of love is that of an interpersonal communion. In this we find a reflection of the Blessed Trinity as a communion of love. The future Pope insisted that chastity is always about persons. He argued “. . . love is an affirmation of the person or else it is not love at all.”The moral virtue of chastity can only be thought of in association with the theological virtue of love. Only the chaste are capable of loving. To the degree we are chaste we can love others; while to the degree we are unchaste we will use others. Thus, chastity is both a prerequisite and expression of love. Chastity is not a no but a yes, a yes to another person as a person and not as an object to be used. Chastity may involve saying no, but that no is always in service of a greater positive goal.

Chastity is necessary for all Christians, regardless of their state in life, whether they are single, married, or celibate. All are called to respect human dignity. All are called to love.
Those who are single are called to a chastity that respects others and refrains from sexually acting out in ways proper and exclusive to the married.

Chastity is also important for those who are married. For them chastity does not usually mean sexual abstinence but fidelity, and within their marriage, a deep respect and love, never treating one’s spouse as an object. In this deep love they are to reveal the love between Christ and his Church and give an insight into the very mystery of God.

Those who are called to celibacy are also called to chastity. In perfect continence they are to love God and neighbor for the sake of the Kingdom and as a sign of the life to come.
Chastity is important for all Christians and all people of good will. Chastity calls us to love as God loves. It is ordering our sexuality according to the plan of God. Chastity is how we love others in sincerity and truth.

CHAPTER II ~ THE PROBLEM OF PORNOGRAPHY
Lust indulged starves the soul. (Proverbs 13:19 ): A real problem.
Our human sexuality is created as something good by God. It is a gift. It also suffers from the effects of original sin and so can manifest not only good but evil. Pornography is one such evil. It assaults human dignity and commodifies people and human sexuality. It starves the human soul which has a spiritual dimension which must be nurtured by giving and receiving a personal love.
While pornography is not a new problem, the development of the mass media and recent technological advances have made it much easier to access this deceptive evil.

Pornography violates modesty, chastity and truth. Human sexuality involves modesty which protects the privacy of individuals regarding what is most personal and intimate. To invade this privacy, and unveil what should remain hidden, is an assault on human dignity.

While chastity exists to serve love, pornography treats another human being (or an explicit sexual description or action) as an object to be used. It can oftentimes flow from narcissism and selfishness. It replaces love with use. Remember the Personalistic Norm: People are never to be used as objects for one’s own pleasure. People are to be loved. People are not to be treated as raw material to be used by the emotions, compulsions or addictions of others. To paraphrase John Paul II, the problem with pornography, in a sense, is not that it reveals too much of the person (exposed in the image), but that it reveals too little of the person. Pornographic images are designed to reveal nothing but the person’s sexual organs and sexual faculties; nowhere does the unique personality, the depth of the person, appear. The pornographically exposed person is, quite literally, de-personalized: in becoming an ‘object’ for another’s use, he or she ceases to be seen for what he or she is: a ‘subject’ who deserves love and respect.

Pornography violates truth. It leads people into a world of unreality, a world of fantasy that isolates them from other people and the commitments and respect which should govern our relationships. Some persons seek pornography out of loneliness and a low self esteem. It is a painful irony that their use of pornography serves only to isolate them more and more from other people. The more invested people are in this fantasy world, the more detached they become from real people, real issues and real life around them. Lust isolates. Love unites. Pornography leads people away from the truth. Chastity helps people to grow in truth.
Pornography inevitably leads to other grave sins. For example, the use of pornography is frequently coupled with masturbation, another disordered sexual activity that further turns a person in on himself, isolating him from others. Pornography use often leads one to seek other disordered forms of sexual gratification, which involve the exploitation of others for one’s own selfish ends. Pornography does not remain a “private” vice; by allowing one to view other persons as means rather than ends, it eventually damages all of one’s familial and social relationships.

Tears stream from my eyes because your law is disobeyed. (Psalm 119:136)

Pornography is a real problem and the statistics concerning it are frightening. But behind all this there are not just numbers, there are people whose lives are harmed, and whose eternal salvation is jeopardized. There are those exploited by pornography, those who use it and then the family and associates of both groups. Pornography affects lives, moral strength, relationships, marriages, the lives of children, community life, and even such things as property value and community safety.

Sometimes those who use pornography claim, “I’m not hurting anyone." Pornography, like all sinful behavior, offends the one sinned against, the one who sins and God, the source of all truth. The destructive work of the devil, who Sacred Scripture calls “the father of lies,” is to distort in us our sense of what is good. He tells us that others are for our use and enjoyment; that satisfying our cravings will make us happy. But the “happiness” is fleeting. We are spiritual beings sharing God’s own life, and this enticing adventure has no spiritual substance. It leaves us deceived, ashamed, unfulfilled and confused.

Within the person, pornography wreaks harm physically, emotionally and spiritually. Pornography can become as physically and chemically addictive as alcohol, drugs or gambling. The graphic images of pornography burn themselves into our sense imagination. The more deeply and frequently this happens, the harder the road to freedom will be. Like other addictions, pornography is a progressive affliction. It takes more and more graphic presentations to achieve the desired effect. As this continues it can lead to acting out and to crime.
Pornography stunts a person emotionally. Those addicted may withdraw from friends, family and even their own spouses. Pornography leads them into a world of unreality with idealized, unrealistic figures who do not engage one in a truly human manner. As people withdraw, their interpersonal skills and relationships weaken. They look at others as objects rather than as people with the capacity for friendship and love. They become preoccupied with every situation and person they encounter: will it provide for me the gratification I seek? If one is seriously mired in this vice, the addictive behavior often persists even after it leads to obviously damaging consequences, e.g., destruction of a marital relationship or loss of a job from viewing pornography at work. In a real sense, one can become enslaved to pornography in a manner analogous to drug addiction. As with other addictions, the viewer requires more and more explicit, disordered material to achieve the same effect; this produces a downward spiral that becomes progressively more difficult to correct.

The spiritual life is about growing more in the image of God. Pornography makes us less like God as it leads people to treat others as objects and not as unrepeatable gifts of God. Pornography leads one not to make a greater gift of oneself in love, not to serve but rather to be served. In the end one becomes caught and enslaved in hurtful habits rather than virtue.

Viewing pornography for this distorted venereal pleasure is, objectively, a mortal sin. It is seriously contrary to the life God intends for others and ourselves. It kills the life of sanctifying grace. If we are in serious sin we must not approach Holy Communion until we have received sacramental confession. Often we are too ashamed to come to the Sacrament of Reconciliation and we wander further away from the life of God. Our ability to function as a living member of the Body of Christ is impaired. Because this scenario is so widespread today, we must be concerned about the state of our parishes and families. Still, because God’s initiative of grace remains at work, we must not despair. At any time, He stands ready to assist us. We must entrust ourselves to His mercy and return to the Sacrament for forgiveness and a new beginning.

Pornography harms others. It exploits other people, usually women but also men and children. To engage in pornography is to support this terrible and scarring exploitation. To participate financially in this contributes to an industry that perpetuates a grave moral evil. Slavery, including sexual slavery, is a real and growing problem today. One reason it grows is because there is a demand for it. Furthermore, after engaging in pornography, the user is more likely to look upon other people as objects. As pornography use progresses marriages can falter and collapse. This results in shame, heartbreak and misery for the spouses and for children who can carry emotional scars into adulthood and their own marriages. Children and young people who are exposed to pornography experience assaults on their human dignity and roadblocks to authentic human development. As pornography increases, so does crime. Sex offenses are 506% greater in Phoenix , Arizona areas where Sexually Oriented Businesses are located.[10] Pornography is not harmless; it is a grave, dehumanizing evil.

In all this, pornography offends God. It misuses His gifts of freedom, the human body and love. We are the artwork of God (cf. Eph 2:10 ) and pornography defaces His masterpiece.
Go not after your lusts, but keep your desires in check. (Sirach 18:30 ):

We live in a culture that is increasingly dark and death-dealing. We can easily begin to absorb these negative influences – taking them in like a plant absorbs, through its roots, what is in the soil or “culture” in which it is planted. We become numb and we don’t even realize that we are slowly being poisoned. This problem is serious and it demands our response.

CHAPTER III ~ RESPONDING TO THE PROBLEM
What is your name? (Mark5:9): Facing and naming the problem.

This real and serious problem demands of us a real and serious response. It is easier to turn away and pretend it does not exist, but it does exist, and we must do what we can. We should not wait for the abduction, rape or murder of a young girl or boy in our family, another ruined marriage, a job lost, or another child’s life being devastated to get us concerned about this issue. The stakes are just too high.

The first step in solving any problem is to point it out, to name it. While exorcizing the Gerasene demoniac, Jesus asked, “What is your name?&rsquo (Mark 5:9). In Semitic thought to know the name is to begin to have some power over it. We find a modern equivalent of this in the Twelve Step Spirituality of such groups as Alcoholics Anonymous. The first step in this transforming spirituality is to admit that in the face of one’s addiction one is powerless. People do not address problems that they refuse to admit. A major character weakness in heterosexual pornography use can be selfishness or narcissism. Same sex pornography can be strongly influenced by a weak male confidence, loneliness and a poor body image. Realizing these contributing factors can help a person begin to look for the ways to redirect his or her “relationships” in a more generous and healthy manner.

The evils with which we struggle often keep us bound up in silence. Particularly with something like pornography, the fear, embarrassment and shame can be intense. Someone with a deep spiritual insight into all this was St. Ignatius Loyola. He noted:

When the enemy of human nature tempts a just soul with his wiles and seductions, he earnestly desires that they be received secretly and kept secret. But if one manifests them to a confessor, or to some other spiritual person who understands his deceits and malicious designs, the evil one is very much vexed. For he knows that he cannot succeed in his evil undertaking, once his evident deceits have been revealed.

A prerequisite for use of pornography is some sort of silence. To break this silence by speaking to another person can be frightening, but also liberating.

I said: ‘I will confess my offense to the Lord.&rsquo And you, Lord, have forgiven the guilt of my sin. (Psalm 32:5): The Sacrament of Penance.

Acknowledging the problem for ourselves is an important first step. As St. Ignatius noted, this can be done in the Sacrament of Penance. This sacrament is a rich source of God’s strength and spiritual health. It is the normal means for us – instituted by Christ and provided by the Church – to be reconciled and receive spiritual healing. Stately simply, pornography is sinful and the Sacrament of Penance removes sin. This sacrament puts us in touch with the depth of God’s merciful love. It removes what is bad. It strengthens us with what is good, with God’s grace.
The fruits of this sacrament are many. The Catechism notes that it restores us to God’s grace and joins us in friendship with God. It brings a spiritual resurrection drawing us into the Paschal Mystery as we die to our sinfulness and rise to new life in Christ. The Sacrament of Penance reconciles us to the Church and revitalizes the life of the repentant sinner.

For anyone struggling with pornography, the Sacrament of Reconciliation offers an infallible source of healing grace. Jesus spoke of the joy in heaven over one repentant sinner (Luke 15:10 ); when worthily celebrated, this sacrament causes the angels to rejoice. In this sacrament, we encounter Christ the Divine physician. When we open our wound to Him, He can begin to heal us with His grace.

We are contending not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world. (Eph 6:12.): Develop a plan to stay strong.

In order to persevere we must develop a plan to “stay sober” and avoid the intoxication of pornography. We will not succeed if we think we can easily put aside the temptations to use pornography. We must avoid the occasions of sin, that is, anything that leads us toward it. What are our particular weaknesses in regard to these attractions? In honesty and humility we must often run from them like we would run from a wild animal against which we had no sufficient defense.

We are more vulnerable to secret sins: 1) when we are alone or with certain people; 2) when the materials are available; and 3) when we have time on our hands.

We must be careful and plan out what we do when we are in private. Away from others we must be on our guard, mindful of our weakness. Similarly, we must avoid situations where the company of certain people might unduly pressure us to partake in the use of materials, such as pornographic videos or magazines. We must try to cultivate healthy and supportive friendships. As we get stronger, we can try to lead our associates into activities that are not so degrading to human dignity.

Because we have grown to depend on computers, this is harder when dealing with Internet pornography. We can first remove computer bookmarks that provide easy access. Use a filter. If you knew that eating certain foods or taking certain drugs to which you are allergic would kill you, you would scrupulously avoid these things. If getting rid of the computer is the only way to assure your chastity – your sexual sobriety – such measures may be necessary for the life of your soul.

If the television in your hotel room is a danger, don’t even turn it on. Bring reading or work to do. Go to the exercise room. Talk to a friend, or your spouse or children on the phone.

At home, more and more families are using blocking devices on their television sets, or using the TV only occasionally to watch a family-friendly movie or a sports event together.

Knowing our weaknesses. We may begin to awaken our desire for explicit pornography even by the use of (increasingly revealing and suggestive) television shows, reality TV, or immodest advertisements, magazines not generally regarded as erotic (e.g., in the case of fetish), novels with explicit scenes that we know play to our attractions. Being honest about our individual weaknesses in these areas will help us avoid the “occasions of sin,” – remote or near occasions – that may cause our downfall. To succeed in this battle we have to calculate our strengths and weaknesses and realize how we can account for both. Don’t try to fight the battle “inside the fortress;” engage the enemy before he breaches your defenses. Learn to see the danger coming before it gets too close or too strong.

You must, therefore, be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matthew 5: 48 ): Develop a plan to grow holy as a disciple.

The Beatitudes and the rest of Christ’s Sermon on the Mount express a model for conscientious and faithful discipleship. It is not enough to remove the bad. We must bring in the good. If we do not replace the bad with something good it can more easily return (Cf. Luke 11:24 -26). Through repentance and Sacramental Reconciliation we move out of darkness into the light but we need a program for staying in the light.

Commitment to daily prayer. Our Catholic tradition is tremendously rich with many types of prayer. Just a few are Eucharistic Adoration, Lectio Divina (prayerfully reading the Sacred Scriptures), meditation, contemplation, and devotional prayers including the Rosary, the Divine Mercy Chaplet and the Stations of the Cross. Our rich and varied tradition exists to help us grow more deeply in the life of God.

Meditation, vivid reflection on the mysteries, life and activity of Christ, and the use of religious pictures, statues, etc., provide positive images in the sense imagination and memory. These can begin to supplant images and visual fantasies that are occasions of sin for us.

Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. For us as Catholics the Mass and the worthy reception of the Eucharist are the font from which we draw our spiritual strength and the highest expression of our worship and thanks to God. Here Jesus literally makes a gift of Himself to us. Here we enter into the hour of His sacrifice. To share in the Eucharist every Sunday and holy day of obligation strengthens us, and keeps us in the communion of the Church. Participating in Mass more often and receiving communion, provided we have not alienated our self from God by serious sin, can be of inestimable help to us to stay in the light.

Daily Examination of Conscience and Frequent Confession. No one can hope to seriously grow in the spiritual life without the constant repentance to which Christ calls us. Particularly when we are trying to break the habits of destructive sins, a brief recollection of our day in which we renew our sorrow for our sins and track our progress prepares us for a worthy celebration of Confession. The saints tell us to keep our daily examination of conscience cursory so as not to rekindle the passion of our sins. Satan’s new temptations and occasional discouragement will come. But we must persevere in hope despite our setbacks. An honest, integral, and humble Confession monthly or more often, to the same confessor if possible, will do us tremendous good if we persevere and do not lose heart.

Utilize good Spiritual Reading. Another means of support is through study. As God’s word to us the Bible is life giving and irreplaceable. Our tradition is rich in spiritual classics, especially the biographies of the saints or their own writings. Reading the encyclicals of the Popes and other magisterial teachings will help us in our understanding of revealed truth. The catechetical talks by Pope John Paul II, sometimes collectively referred to as the Theology of the Body, provide a positive and substantive understanding of human sexuality.

CONCLUSION
Let us cast off the deed of darkness and put on the armor of light. (Romans 13:12 ): The light of God’s mercy.

Dear friends, this problem of pornography affects all of us. It involves not only our spiritual life and our moral health but the health of our nation and our world. It assaults our human dignity rooted in the image and likeness of God and further ennobled by the Incarnation. Pornography is a struggle for many people. Prevention can do tremendous good. Neglect can be responsible for horrendous and lifelong harm. Children and young people must be protected and equipped to deal with these and other problems facing us today.

Moreover, people need the Church’s positive message about human sexuality. Chastity calls all of us to love as God loves. Purity of heart is a blessed path of discipleship. At times we will stumble but with the mercy of God we continue to follow in the way of light, life and love.
One wise instruction St. Benedict wrote in his Holy Rules the pithy but profound statement, “Never despair of God’s Mercy.” The most serious temptation anyone can face is to doubt the reality of God’s love and mercy. While we can never presume on that mercy, we must never let go of that most powerful and life-giving hope.

If you remember just one sentence from this letter let it be this: Never despair of God’s mercy.

In Christ and Mary,
Most Reverend Robert W. Finn

Bishop of Kansas City-St. Joseph

Responses to “Porn - 3 Reasons to Stop Now”

Brandon writes:

Let’s not forget that by looking at pornography, we thereby support the pornography, which means we’re supporting an industry that is very much so left wanting. If we don’t look, the pornographers don’t get the money to make the stuff. The peoples lives affected by this would change. I’ll admit, I struggle with resisting temptations to look at pornography, but what helps me the most is to think of the people who I’d be looking at and realizing that they’re not sex objects, but real live people, many of which probably go through the same experiences I’ve went through, and all of which need God in their lives. I try to remember to pray for them to be able to get out of that industry, and by that time, whatever temptation I have to look is usually gone.

Randy writes:
bsolutely Brandon. I used to tell people in my small group to pray for the people in the porn industry when they were tempted to look at porn. Talk about a righteous buzz kill! And it is very true. The sexual exploitation of men and women in that industry is horrible.
Thank you for bringing up that important perspective.