The Battle For Sexual Integrity

The Addictive Power of Pornography by Art and Laraine Bennett

Pornography or cybersex (pursuing sexual gratification via the internet) addiction has been called the “crack cocaine of sexual addiction” (Carnes, 2001). It progresses much more rapidly than any other chemical or behavioral addiction–the individual can become addicted in only a matter of weeks or months. This is partly because the Internet has an extraordinary capacity to introduce a trance-like state. Hours may pass while the individual is completely preoccupied with chatting online or gazing at pornographic images on the computer screen. This trance-like state is the first key element in the addiction cycle, as described by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., in his groundbreaking work, Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. With each repetition, the noose tightens.

Another key element in the addictive cycle is the immediate gratification or pleasure that results from the sexual behaviors often associated with the viewing of pornographic materials (usually masturbation).Viewing pornography is usually accompanied by self-gratification and triggers arousal, satiation and an increase in fantasy, which induce powerful neurochemical responses in the brain similar to those induced by addictive drugs and alcohol. When these neurochemical changes happen repeatedly, the responses to sexual behaviors become habituated, and these behaviors are now “hard-wired” in the brain.Although there are moments of intense pleasure (releasing soothing and pleasurable hormones that are natural opioids), this pleasure has become a compulsion, and so is often followed by severe mood shifts to despair, or a sense of powerlessness to change, self-pity, degradation, and shame. The sense of isolation and hopelessness can be so severe that there is only one thing that can help the user feel better….and the cycle begins again.

Addictive sexual behavior is unlike healthy sexual behavior in that it is a compulsion for instant gratification, it is associated with severe mood shifts (from the erotic haze to depression), it is impersonal and emotionally detached, it is not fulfilling (the addict always needs more, without feeling fulfilled), and it is accompanied by negative self-worth, shame and guilt (Manning, 2006). The only way the addict can relieve these uncomfortable feelings of shame and guilt is to slip once more into the “erotic haze” of cybersex, which then further ensnares the user in the web of addiction.

This cycle repeats itself, often escalating as the user compulsively seeks increasingly deviant websites, or even tries to live out some of his sexual fantasies. The user may try to stop, but discovers that he experiences anxiety, restlessness, and unease (symptoms of withdrawal). Often the porn use is never disclosed–until he loses a job, a loved one stumbles upon his addiction, or he gets caught engaging in an illegal sexual act.

Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., pioneer in the field of sexual addiction, maintains that all sexual addicts have certain faulty, core beliefs that make them vulnerable to addiction. They experience a fundamental lack of self-worth and a mistrust of others that may come from early childhood experiences (whether through some traumatic incident or through impaired early attachment experiences) and are reinforced by our culture. The four dysfunctional core beliefs are:

1. I am a bad, unworthy person
2. Nobody would love me if they really knew me
3. My needs are never going to be met, if I have to depend on others
4. Sex is my most important need

Our Catholic faith reassures us that our dignity rests in being created in the image and likeness of God. We know that God loves each one of us, and that He will provide us with all the strength we need to become healthy. The Blessed Trinity is the best example of the power of relationships, and we, as children of God, partake in a relationship with God. This occurs most fundamentally by strengthening our relationship with Christ.

When we live a Christ-centered life, we can see that sex is beautiful and even sacred, but it is not the center of our universe. We must ask for the grace to grow in our faith so that Christ can help us shed our false beliefs. But these faulty beliefs have probably become habitual, and may already be so central to our identity and behavior that we need professional help to overcome them.

Grace builds upon nature and our natural instincts are out of whack when we have this addiction. Furthermore, these faulty beliefs may have arisen through early childhood experiences, and so may need to be addressed in a therapeutic setting. In addition to counseling, going through the 12 steps of Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) is one of the best ways to combat these faulty beliefs and overcome the addiction.

Art Bennet is the Director of Alpha Omega Clinic and Consultation Services in Bethesda, MD. This article first appeared on the Website http://www.unityrestored.com/. The purpose of Unity Restored is to provide the latest psychological information in concert with the truths of the Catholic Faith, to help those struggling with pornography.